Brummagem Song – 10 Birmingham Poems


If you’ve never been to Birmingham then you ought ta……….

It’s a grand city made up of many a quarter………

There is jewellery to be sold, diamonds, platinum and gold

Boulton’s silver to assay, precious gems from far away.

Guns were made nearby, helping soldiers fight and die

In the English Civil War we made musket, cannon and ball

A more powerful Lewis gun helped the British beat the Hun.

Mr Webley made a revolver fired by many a pitiful soldier

On a lighter note in The Theatre Quarter

The stage is set for talented daughters

The Rep, the Alex and Hippodrome…..

Encourage performers to make Birmingham their own

Chaplin, Burton and Olivier

Travelled here to perform their plays

Musicals, ballets and pantomime

Ensure cultural visitors have a good time

The NEC and NIA have changed their names along the way

The Good Food Show, Crufts and fashion galore

Ensure our visitors come back for more

In the Symphony Hall there was often a battle

Between the CBSO and Sir Simon Rattle

The Chinese Quarter is colourful and bright

A fantastic place to go out at night

Stir-fried noodles, a tantalising odour

A grand Dragon Parade from Wing Yip’s Pagoda.

The Balti Belt, full of saris and spices

Tasty Asian food cooked with different rices

An area to visit to sample a curry,

At Adil’s or Imran’s there’s no need to hurry

Bring your own beer, share various starters

Poppadoms, Pakoras, Aloo with tomatoes

A ‘curry in a bucket’ naan size of a table

Mild, medium or hot, eat it all, if you’re able.

Our City has Cadbury, Jaguar Land Rover too,

Speedway, rugby, and cricket for you

A passion for sport, you can hear the roar

For a goal scored by Blues or Villa football.

Indoor and outdoor, The Bull Ring Markets

Sell everything from cheese to carpets

The Germans come at Christmas time

Bringing Bratwurst, Schnitzel and Gluhwein

Birmingham has ‘More Canals than Venice’

We also invented the game of lawn tennis.

The Botanical Gardens and Cannon Hill Park

Have flowers and lawns, hosting shows: ‘What a lark!’

An airport, coach and New Street Station

Make us the “Centre of our Nation”

To travel by car to any function

You may have to negotiate Spaghetti Junction!!!!!

The ‘Stroll from St Philip’s to St Paul’s’

Where Boulton and Watt occupied the pew stalls

Pugin’s St Chad’s, the Roman Catholic Cathedral

Anglican St Martin’s, on the steps to the bronze Bull

The Kennedy Memorial near Digbeth’s Custard Factory,

Healed the wounds of the Irish after the Birmingham atrocity

The Rotunda stood proud, tall and round

Blown to pieces with ‘The Tavern in the Town.’

The City recovered, no flags at half mast

Brummies look FORWARD, don’t dwell on the past

Our mixture of cultures live well together

Our heritage, our history will go on forever.






The Birmingham Jewellery Quarter


Is present in our Home


Enclosed in the Engagement Ring


I am pleased to call my own.


Twelve Diamonds round a Ruby,


Lovingly set in Gold


Handmade by Excellent Craftsmen


To wear till I grow old


Hannah Hill from Dodd & Co


Watched our Love flourish and grow


This Beautiful Ring she designed for us


For a Proposal made with minimal fuss,


Two Circles of Gold followed soon after


Made by her brilliant Jewellery Crafter


After 25 years of Married Life


These Rings bind us together as Man and Wife






Brum is Burning, Brum is Burning




Charles Prince Rupert


Was marauding


Throughout the Town


Throughout the Town


Brum was Roundhead


Not for Royalists….


Ride them down…..


Ride them down…..


Rupert killed them


Torched their houses


For supporting




NOT the Crown


Many murdered…..


Many murdered…..


By Rupert’s Cavalry


Cut them down


Yet at Shireland


Was a Skirmish


Where Earl Denbigh


Met his end


Shot him down


Shot him down


No Justice


No Justice


For Brummagem


For Brummagem!


Brum is Burning


Brum is Burning




Battle’s over


Battle’s over


Poor Birmingham





Southside Johnnies and Chinatown Jinks


Down ‘Olloway ‘Ed


To Wing Yip’s Pagoda


Leading the Way


To Chinatown’s lovely odour


A tasty meal cooked in a Wok


At Chung Ying Garden


We’re ‘Ready to Rock’!


Ming Moon Buffet


All you can eat


As you stroll down the Sidewalk


To Brummagem’s Beat!


The Fox, The Hip


The Back to Backs


All open their Doors to


Johnnies in Slacks


Southside’s Silver Rhino


Surveys…… all she can see


From the slate grey roofs above


The many Theatre-goers with Glee!


David Bintley’s Royal Ballet


Formerly Sadler’s Wells


Puts on ‘The Nutcracker’


For many well-heeled ‘Swells’


Every Christmas……..


David’s ‘Glittering Show’


Adorns Chinatown


With lots of fake Snow!


The young Bucks from Elmhurst School for Dance


Apprentice lithe ‘Dancers’ preen and prance……..


The Hip’s huge Stage


The Largest in the Land


Welcomes the UK’s biggest Pantomime


And Plays, Musicals and Bands


That Adorn Chinatown


On ‘Golden Pond’


Stir-Fried Noodles


And Chicken Feet


Fed to me by Miss Chan


What a Fantastic Feat!


To attract the Chinese


To assemble MG’s


At Longbridge


Premier Wen Jiao Bao


He came to Brum


In Twenty Eleven to visit the Chinamen


After MG Rover went ‘Belly-up’


In Twenty Oh Six…….


Mike Whitby and Dutton


This ‘Marvellous Man’


‘Mister #Birmingham Development’


SUCH a sad loss…….


As Clive Dutton reported to Mike Whitby: ‘The Boss’


They Launched Brum’s ‘Big City Plan’…..


In Shanghai…..near ‘The Bund’


Hoping to attract Chinese Yuan


To invest in England


To build MG’s in our land……once again!


To save the jobs of many a Brummie man


In October Twenty Fifteen……


Another Chinese Premier came……


Li Xing Ping was his name…….


This Time Georgie Osborne took ‘im oooooop North……


No visit to Longbridge……


This Time for ‘The Man’……


For Brum…..that wasn’t quite in ‘The Big City Plan’……..


I recall in Twenty Ten on Adrian Goldberg’s Radio WM Show…….


Talking with Paul Kehoe of BHX ‘Fame’ about……..


Birmingham’s ‘Twin City’ of Guangzhou……..


About ‘Marketing Birmingham’ to the Chinese……


Using ‘Dear Old Bill Shakespeare’ whom the Chinese love……


As they fly high into Brummagem


High ‘Up Above’…….


Using ‘Whitby’s new runway’…….


To come to the region……


The Chinese Love William Shakespeare…….


His Chinese fans are sooooo ‘Legion’……..


This @BrummieBard……..


“The Greatest West Midlander”………


Has the ‘Power to Attract’…….


More Investment to ‘Brummagem’!


Paul Kehoe poo-pooed mine and Ducker’s idea……


But in Twenty Fourteen


It became CLEAR…….


A ‘No-Brainer’ for ‘BILL’ to Market Birmingham to the Chinese…….


More Money for Brum!!!!!!


DONE IT!…….With Ease…….


NI HAO from this Brummie…….


XIE…..XIE…..on our Lips


Welcomes Chinese to our supermarkets……..Wonderful WING YIPS!


This ‘Man of Fujian’


Came to Brum in The Fifties……


Made it His Home……..


Brum’s Chinese sooooo ‘Thrifty’……..


So it is ‘ZAIJIAN’ from me……..The New @BrummieBard…..


HEY……!!!!!!!…. Paul Kehoe…..IT wasn’t SOOOO hard…….


To Market ‘Dear Birmingham’……..


To The Chinese………


Using ‘Bill Shakespeare’……..


WHAT A MAN from these Shires…..!!!!!!!


The World’s GREATEST Playwright……..








As “Bill’s” Plays are about…….


Our Common Humanity……..


MACBETH’s ‘Vain Death’…….


And LEAR’s ‘Huge Vanity’……..


THE PLAYERS Do ‘Strut the World’s Stage’…….


In Stratford Town……….


Just Twenty – Five Miles……..


From CHINATOWN……….!!!!!!!!!




Balti Belt n Braceys


Ladypool Road or Stoney Lane


No two Curries are the same


Sizzling Tandoori, Tikka too


Balti ‘Buckets’ or Vindaloo


Kashmiri Spices, Herbs and Veg


Chapatis, Roti or Naan Bread


Adil, Imran’s, where will you go…..?


It’s the ‘Taste of Birmingham’ you know


The Colourful Shops in vibrant Streets


Window displays of cut-up Sweets


Silky Saris, Shalwaar Kameez


Bags and Jewellery that will please


Wedding venues for Love’s Celebration


Attended by Guests from every Nation


For Flavours tasted and beautiful odours smelt


I’ve often visited Birmingham’s Balti Belt……..






Blues, Bears, Barons


Villains, Wasps and Wolves


Harriers, Saddlers, Bullets


Baggies, Bees and Bulls



Four Football grounds to visit


Four home team strips to buy


Colourful scarves round cold necks


Or for Fans to hold up high



The oval ball pulls in the crowds at Moseley RFC


For mucky rucks and scrums so tough


Such spectacular tries to see


Their followers stand together



With drinks held in their hand


They roar and sing to urge their boys


Uniting Rugby in their stand


Against violence in the land



It’s cricket in the summer


To Edgbaston Fans will go


Watching men in white in a crease with bat


A five dayer seems oh……so slow



The Twenty Twenty is much more fun


The Ball flies everywhere

There are wickets, sixes and catches


As we cheer on Birmingham Bears




Brummagem’s Bands


Birmingham has produced the Biggest Bands


With Fabulous Songs and Adoring Fans


Famous in Europe and the USA


Outstanding Music here to stay


Rock from Black Sabbath and Judas Priest


Was Heavy and Loud, to say the least


The Move had ‘Flowers in the Rain’


First Record on Radio One, they claim


Dexy’s sang: ‘Come on Eileen’


The Dance Floor Anthem for Love’s Young Dream


UB40 had a Kitchen with a Rat


While Sabbath’s Ozzy bit the Head off a Bat


The Dutchie was passed by Musical Youth


Duran Duran: ‘Hungry Like the Wolf’


Led Zeppelin climbed a ‘Stairway to Heaven’


The World’s Greatest Band in ‘77


Electric Lights inspired Jeff Lynne


Moody Blues dressed in White Satin


Would Christmas be the same without Wizzard and Slade?


Performing the Music Midlands’ Bands Made!






Back in Nineteen Seventy Six


When the Hot Sun baked the broiling Bricks


And Denis Howell MP for Small Heath


Was ‘Minister for Drought’ in the searing heat


He urged us all to bathe together


And not run round ‘Hell for Leather’


I went from Birmingham Grammar School Boy


To the University in Edgbaston with Unbridled Joy


This Bright but Callow Brummie Lad


Became a Birmingham Undergrad


Studying B.Com in the Muirhead Tower


Where The Paternoster Lifts ran Hour after Hour


Perpetual Motion taking ‘Tortured Souls’


To jump off this Brutalist Muirhead Coil


When Exams in Accounts became too much to Toil


Doctor Peter Cain my ancient Tutor


Urged this Fresh man to use the first Punch-Card Computer


This Student donned a Great Coat and Scarf


And would do anything for a ‘Belly Laugh’


Like Read the Communist Manifesto


At Peter Cain’s educated behest….Oh!


Marx and Engels to the Fore


As all us Students fought ‘The Class War’!


David Lodge’s ‘Nice Work’ if you can gerrit…..?


Made University Life seem so decrepit


To study Accounts was my Forte


Or so I often thought…..Eh….?


But when The Doubts began to creep in


And my ‘Number Blindness’ started to seep in


To my youthful callow consciousness


With such dire unfortunate consequences


My exam time worry started to show


And I was struck such a Mortal Blow


When I failed my Exams in Statistics and Maths


But Tutor Cain set me on a Different Path


To study Law and forget the Math


Peter told me I still had a Bright Future


No longer for me the Statistical Torture!


For this Rugby-Playing Muddied Oaf


On the Bournbrook pitches…. I used my Loaf


And played for the University First Fifteen


As an Eighteen Year Old Flyaway Flanker


I made my debut for my Alma Mater


Where my Rugby defined me as a Young Man


Without any sort of discernible plan


The First Fifteen I played in October ‘76


Before I even made my debut for The Old Dix!!!!!


Julia Honeychurch was my squeeze


Back in Strathcona we ‘Shot the Breeze’!


Mick’s Café’s Race and Carnival


Was what defined me as a pal


A ‘Belly-Buster Breakfast’ and a pint of Guinness


The aim not to throw up at the Breathless Finish


A Two Mile Run from the Student’s Union


Down to Heeley Road and a date with Oblivion


Where Bacon and Egg were downed with Glee


Before running back to ‘The Mermaid in The See’


That’s when it all went ‘Pete Tong’ for me


As I threw up and my Salad Days


Became Carrots and Peas


And I was in an Alcoholic Daze


While on my knees


All good fun to raise ‘Cash for Carnival’


I was no longer a ‘Freshman Virgin’ in High Hall….!!!!!





To Darling Dear Rebecca


A Poem just to say


That Santa won’t forget You


When He’s on His Merry Way



A Bright Light will be shining


To Light His Way Above


He will find you in The Stars


Surrounded by God’s Love



You changed my Life in Many Ways


Although our Time was Brief


From Autumn into Winter


I’ve struggled with my Grief



Now this Sad Year is Ending


A New One soon to Come


I know that you are Peaceful


My Duty has been Done



So ‘Merry Christmas’ to You


And a Happy New Year too


From All of Us at Hallfield


Who Are Deeply Missing You……..





1 thought on “Brummagem Song – 10 Birmingham Poems

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s